10 years ago I started a daily guided meditation by Dr. Joe Dispenza, focused on unmemorizing the emotional state of terror.
Not only was the terror alleviated, but the meditation produced the surprising byproduct of putting me in a perpetual state of feeling in love. Of course, making time for myself, prioritizing myself in the way I want someone else to prioritize me, and greeting myself first thing in the morning by designing my day, my state, and my emotional landscape for an hour and 20 minutes was an act of love. And as Bell Hooks says, Love is a verb.
Over the past month, I felt called to revisit this particular guided meditation, but this time focused on anger, which was a veil for powerlessness, and under that, pervasive distrust of myself and everyone else rooted in childhood. While I have cultivated the ability to listen and respond to my intuition, distrust still shows up when I worry about the cost of home repairs, worry about people’s well-being, and worry about the state of the world becoming more polarized rather than evolved. This is an expression of me not trusting what I can create and not trusting that, even when I can’t see how it will happen, universal support is available.
A friend said, “Well, isn’t distrust warranted?” And I said, “Yes, it is, but if I am trained to worry and not trust, I am scanning my environment for all the things to not trust, rather than intentionally looking for what I can trust, proof I am safe, I am supported, I have enough.” That is what becomes possible when you choose to practice creating new neuropathways that override old trauma neuropathways.
There is a local Dr. Joe Dispenza walking meditation group that is open to people once they have been to his retreats. Sundays are usually my time to be in solitude and in my garden, but doing this group meditation in the forest is electrifying. My body remembers who I am. Have you been to his retreats? Join us.
