Today’s guest, Gail Blair, is a remarkable being whom I am incredibly grateful to call my mentor. A near-death experience led to her seeing the energy fields of everything. In this episode, she synthesizes what she’s discovered through her own awakening process and how she helps teach others this gift. Additionally, Gail is a spiritual teacher, energy healer, and medical intuitive, who helps you dial in the exact diet and practices necessary to truly nourish your body and soul.
As a healing guide, she intuits what is behind your physical symptoms and helps you uncover and understand the unconscious material that your mind and body have suppressed until now. Gail helps you to ask the right questions to access the messages your spirit is ready for you to receive, in order to reclaim what has been lost. She leads us in a grounding practice and discusses different kinds of love, celibacy, child sexual abuse, and evolution with Charna. We’re so lucky to have her share her story and gifts with us in this episode.
Welcome back to late open Podcast. Today my guest is medical intuitive Gail Blair. She’s a spiritual mother, mentor, teacher and healer for me, I met her through a series of synchronicities and I can’t wait to share more about who she is and the amazing work she offers. I’ve referred to her in previous episodes as muscle burn guru. Today we’re going to do something a little bit different. Instead of an exercise later in the episode I’ve asked Gail to lead an opening grounding meditation which we will get to right after the theme song life is about to start isn’t it great? Honor to say brand new badges
Okay, we’re gonna use a meditation that me and Charna have used together and I use with a lot of clients. And it’s part of an activation meditation. But we’re just going to do the last part. Start by taking a big deep breath in as you take the next one, bring your attention down to your feet. And with the next big breath, envision that you have a crystal this setting right between your feet. And it is infused with pure light. You might even call it pure love. It is source energy. zero point energy is the energy that creates everything from nothing. And see commingled with this energy. The shamanic energy from Mother Earth. He might see the father energy the zero point energy as a very arid distant, pale blue and the mother energy as a light rose pink. You see this very well. You’re going to bring that crystal that’s infused up into your root chakra. And with a breath, you let it expand. Let it go wherever it goes. It may flow into cells and organs and meridians. The sacral spine you can watch it. It goes where where it’s needed. Where the next breath bring it up into your belly chakra your womb of creation and let it expand. Watch it father energy seeding creation are needed in the mother energy, nurturing it, watering it. This creative energy is alive and well in this body. And with the next breath, bring it up into your solar plexus chakra right under your ribcage and let it expand into this power center. This is where over time we’ve been balancing masculine divine energy and feminine divine energy. Being in complete balance and ad are most powerful that that energy move into all the organs there. Were the next breath bring it into your heart chakra right above your physical heart. Let the light of unconditional love expand and let it move into your physical heart and into your lungs. With another breath, see it enter into every vein from the smallest capillary to the largest artery it with a breath it extends into all your extremities. With the next breath, bring it up into your throat chakra. Extending your voice of truth. Moving into your thyroid and your pineal gland, allowing you to see more clearly through your spiritual eyesight. Moving into your mouth in your teeth another place of nourishment into your nose. Center for discernment and ears and the move it up into your mind’s eye right between your eyebrows with the next breath. Let it extend into the chakra fully activated your spiritual eyesight your mind’s eye nourishing brain cells activating new ones, nourishing your physical eyes with another prayer, bring it up into your crown chakra spiritual connection and see it merge with your cord energy. On an exhale, let this light come back down through your body, extending, extending outward as you go sharing it with whoever comes to mind with whoever seeking truth, whoever needs a little extra healing and nourishment, and then out into all of humanity. And when you get to the root chakra, set it right between your feet. And there will always be whenever you forget yourself, or others. Come on grounded from your truth. Just see it and say I am grounded in truth. And I’m anchored on a deep breath. So be it. So.
Gail, thank you for that. I just love you to fucking pieces. So what do you want us to know about you and your relationship to your own sexuality, and how that’s informed your path and who you are today.
Basically, the body is a reflection of what we’re doing and thinking, whether it be consciously or unconsciously. So if you have trauma running in the background that’s hidden, that you’ve never brought to the surface, then basically, you’re being run unconsciously. So you’re not a conscious creator. Remember, you’re the creator. But you’re not a conscious creator, if you’ve got stuff that’s running undercover, right? So the goal is to bring all the stuff that’s running in the background into the foreground. Once you see it in the light of day, or into the light, light of consciousness, now, it has no more power to run you unconsciously. Right. And then you might need to break some habits that no longer is running you. So that’s the process, and so much of it is sexual trauma. And, you know, I know I had my own, and I can tell you how it affected my life. Is that what you want to hear?
Yeah, I will say that, the way that you’ve just summarized what you’re doing, it’s exactly what I’m doing with my clients as well, right? So often, there’s this idea that 95% of our cognitive behavior is unconscious and mess, and 5% is conscious. And so I just, I also want to get into a topic that’s, it’s a little edgy. This idea often when people are like, Oh, wait, you create your reality, or your thoughts affect you. And then people feel blamed. Like you’re, you’re accusing me of causing my own cancer. And I think it’s a really important topic to get into. And the subtle ways that this can be spoken about can really make the difference between someone being open to becoming a more conscious creator, empowered, empowered, creator, and not. And I think that even the most conscious people, right, like there are people that are brilliant, spiritual, embodied beings, that die of cancer, there are, you know, whatever it is like, I think it’s a big, it’s a big topic. And I would also like to talk about that. Okay.
Yeah. Okay, nobody is saying I want cancer. Nobody is creating that consciously. Right? What we do get, we’re energy, so we’re vibrating at different levels. The energy of health is way higher than the energy of disease. And we are our thoughts are powerful energy. And they create form. So I wrote a blog on this is like we create matter about what matters to us. So if our thoughts are low vibrational, in there, that’s going to manifest in a low vibrational experience in our body. So we’re not saying oh, you know, I’m manifesting cancer, it could come up in a million different ways.
Right. What I think is important here is, again, that distinction between we could think we’re quite conscious. But again, there’s what we’ve inherited from our ancestors, from our family, from our religion and our culture. And those beliefs are running in the background in America. And so we are not intentionally causing anything. There’s information that when brought into consciousness can help us evolve. And that’s Part of when something lands in our physical body, it’s bringing our attention to something at almost an unconscious thought that we wouldn’t necessarily have brought our attention to otherwise.
Most people never go there. Yeah, you know, they just take for granted that my body’s failing me, you know, I’m born to get old and sick. And yeah, and suffer, you know, as I get older, that’s just accepted, right? Instead of questioning, I wonder why this is happening. So there’s a mindset, there’s a shift that happens in my sessions with people. And the shift is going from life is happening to me, to life is happening for me. And I wonder what this is for? And then you start,
right, even when it’s even incredible pain? Exactly. And I wonder what this is for wonder what it’s for? What’s it trying to communicate?
Exactly. So this is not denying reality, you know, it’s what your feelings are real. It’s about getting to the root cause of it. Right. And, you know, I’m not gonna sit here and say either that some people’s journey is not. A lot of times, what I get is really doesn’t make a lot of sense to people that don’t believe that there’s more than this. Right? In other words, this is not just this, what we’re going through right here, right now, is just a speck of sand, in the reality of things. So we don’t know, we really don’t know what anything is for in all of space and time. You know, what the outcome of it is going to be? So we can just stay out of judgment and go, Hmm, I wonder what this for, we can get what we need to know now. From that question, you just open yourself up, and you’re willing, as soon as you ask, and you’re willing without judgment, you’ll start getting those answers.
Right. So when you’re talking about being a speck of sand, you’re talking about well, if you don’t if if you just believe in this, this is this fit this physical body is me. And when it dies, i i end, then it’s harder to to it’s life is harder, but it’s also harder to take on what you’re what you’re describing. And that if you see stills
like you can use it. Yeah. Because we’re energy in science proves that. You know, if you look at a rock through a high powered microscope, you’re gonna see that his energy is moving. So if you can change the energy of your body, you can experience if you can raise the energy of your body, you can experience better health, I don’t care what you believe. Right, right. So you can still ask, I wonder why that’s happening. What am I doing or thinking this out of alignment with health? That’s it. No, the court stuff works with the past lives, the past generations, these are the things that we had no clue what’s running us. Right. And that’s, that’s the beauty of the work, you know, you find me and you have a cord to be cut, you know, but you can start asking anybody’s listening to this and start looking at patterns in their life. And go, no wonder where that came from? You know, why am I doing that? Is there somebody else in my lineage that has those same experiences? Right, right.
I was a somatic coach before I became a psychotherapist, and I’m a very unconventional psychotherapist, and I also studied energy medicine before becoming a psychotherapist. And so I’m not just sitting with someone’s life, you know, their personal experience and familial experience. I’m also thinking about them in whether you believe in past lives, or multi dimensions, or ancestral trauma. I mean, science now shows that what is it like 12 generations back at this point, used to be five and then became seven, and then and so on. And so there’s an acknowledgement of how our ancestors beliefs, our parents, belief systems, epigenetics, right, all our environment affects our physical health. And it’s the belief systems in our environment that affect our physical health. And so I’m holding people, I’m working on an energetic and emotional, spiritual, and a physical, like using all those kinds of practices, and then you have to hold the person and go, Okay, so maybe there’s nothing you can point to in this lifetime, that you feel is particularly quote unquote, traumatic or relates to this particular thread. And then we’re like, Well, what about oh, your your grandparents? were Holocaust survivors? Yeah. Does that affect you? I think so. So,
you know, what, that speaks to this just coming to me is that we think that we want everything to be linear. Right, right. But that’s not reality. The reality is everything was whole and operating and wholeness and all at one time. And so it stands to reason that these things that happened 1000s and 1000s of years ago would affect us, right? And I get to if I can work with somebody’s energy is because we’re one. Right? Right. The same reason I can do that, but the court stuff, it reminds me of animals because animals are a lot simpler to work with. Right? So I work with animals to you, I can know whether an animal needs to go see a vat or whether it’s just energy. And we clear the energy and it’s done. Right? The same thing with the human body, it’s just that we have so much going on up here, in our thinking brain, that we don’t heal as easily. We actually have things that block our healing. You know, running in the background is this belief system that I’m supposed to suffer. Matter of fact, I read this not too long ago, quote from Eckhart Tolle, suffering is necessary until it’s no longer necessary. Right? So there is just all messages in for suffering this there’s a message in the suffering. Why am I suffering? You know, and even does it belong to me? No, it belong to my mother. It’s not even mine, right? And that’s easy. When it’s like that. It’s easy. You know, if it’s yours, then you have to do all the work. That means you have to change this. You have to change what’s going on upstairs. If it’s not yours, then you just cut the cord and you let the body come back up into his hell with the food chart? Yeah, I
mean, here’s the thing is we could as as I was saying, before we started recording, we could talk for 10 hours straight, there’s so many, I’m stopping myself from going in five different directions with every sentence,
you speak me to me.
We have a lot that we could cover. And I’m like, oh, that Oh, what about that, I want to bring us back to the topic of sexuality. So I know a little bit about your story. But I want to give you an opportunity to share that share what you want to share about it,
I share some things that I haven’t shared with a lot of people. So I’m kind of going out there, you know, I don’t know who’s going to hear this. So I’ll start by telling you, I have very little recollection of my childhood. I couldn’t tell you one single teacher from kindergarten all the way to high school, not one can’t pitch your own, can’t see him nothing. I have memories that I guess are important, because I happen. But for the most part, you know, it looks like a patchwork quilt to me with most of the patches missing, right? You know, it’s, you know, which
is which is very common, I mean that that image, and that metaphor is something I’ve referred back to a number of times myself, and I think it’s how often when people experience certain kinds of trauma, it is very fragmented and patchy.
So, and I do get one of the reasons that I don’t remember a lot is because I wasn’t here in my body a lot. Remember, I said we’re energetic beings. And so when I was a child, I realized, Oh, my goodness, I didn’t have to be here. So if I want to leave I did, right. And if you’re not here, even in my work, if I’m not completely grounded, I can’t hear guidance. So you have to be here to do your work.
Right. And I would even say, I imagined that this kind of work found you to bring you more into your body, because then you get to be in the practice every hour every day as you sit with clients of grounding and being in your body. That’s
right. I get to be clear and grounded way more than the average because I’m doing it 20 You know, I’m doing it every day. That’s right, that meditation I’ll probably do four times a day, because you get the vicarious experience. Yeah, exactly. So So anyway, there’s one thing that really stands out is and let me preface this by saying it’s very early experiences that shape us. So before you’re six years old, you’ve already decided what love is, and how the world works, you’ve already decided it based on your experience. Okay, so I know something happened to me, before six years old, I just don’t remember what it is. And then what we do, is we go through life defending our belief system. That’s what you know, with our very life. I mean, so we keep perpetuating events that prove that that’s true. Okay. And so, I was very sexual. You know, I do remember masturbating. You know, when I was like, 10. I remember that. And, you know, it was an it was a regular thing. I was very, I would say, ahead of sex addiction, even in middle school. So I’m remembering this because I need to, because I’m supposed to, because here’s what I realized is that if it’s part of my gift, then I’m going to remember it. If it’s not part of my gift, then I’m not going to remember it. So there’s certain things that I remember and I know one debt, they’re going to help people. Okay, so in middle school 11 I was bringing foreign books to school, right? And I was in study hall, and I had a book on top of Montek book that’s pretty crazy. At that age,
you know, I mean, here’s the thing I, I was exposed I was, I was sexually abused probably the first time when I was four. And when I was 10 910 years old, we had someone living in our back house who looked at playgirl and penthouse magazines, and he would show me them and didn’t think anything of it then, and I would take them and I would make collages. And I remember making a collage of all the breasts, like from a magazine, and I put it in my pocket. I remember being in third grade and taking this collage to school in my pocket. I mean, there were all these really like these. Looking back, I go, Holy crap, these really inappropriate things that all these little things that I wouldn’t even didn’t at the time consider sexual abuse or anything. That’s part of the water I was swimming in. So yeah, I get I get exactly what you’re talking about. Where
does it come from? Honestly, I don’t remember. Okay. Yeah. So I don’t remember where it came from. But I know it came from somewhere, you know, I knew I knew I got my ideas about sexuality from somewhere. Right. And so that continued and continued. And then I find myself having an affair. You know, with a man, that’s my dad’s age, when I’m 13. Okay. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that is matter of fact, I was so sexually active is only a miracle that I never got pregnant. I mean, it’s just by divine grace, right? That I did not get pregnant, or I didn’t get a reputation even, you know, there’s, I was so protected somehow, as I went through this, and I know that there’s a divine purpose in everything I believe it. So it’s not that we know what I’m talking about. It’s not a judgement. I’m kind of like an awe of, you know, how this unfolded, right. And so I didn’t even get there was anything wrong with having this sexual experience with this man, who taught me everything about sex. I didn’t get that there was anything wrong with it until I had this big awakening in 2011. And without going into huge detail, I, I would call it a near death experience. What happened to me because I got, I was really depressed, I had lost my job, I just bought a house, I’ve been single for. I don’t know how long it was then maybe 30. I’m 37 years single now 2011 27 years, you know, on my own, and raise three kids by myself. And I just come to that place where, God, I’m done. I just don’t, I just want to do it anymore. And that’s it, letting go place where you got done. And then I had this awakening experience and this hyper awareness. And literally, I could see the energy field of everything. It was really overwhelming. It lasted about four days. I didn’t know that there was anything wrong with that, or anything was up with that until this awakening. And then I was Sykes and my mentor helped me see it. Right, right. Yeah, can we see that this was this. This was a pedophile who took advantage of a 13 year old girl. And, and I had been taken advantage of before, obviously. And so what ended up happening through my whole life is I equated love and sex. Because apparently somebody told me that this is how I love you. Even if I don’t remember who it is, this is how I show love me. So I’m going looking for that. And every time I’m having sex, it’s confirmation that I’m lovable, you know. And so I had this wake up call in my call my gosh, I’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. You know, my whole freakin life. And that’s not to discount my marriage. I was married for 10 years and have three beautiful children. There’s a reason for that. Right? And I believe there’s a reason why we do everything. You know, there’s a good reason why we do everything. So anyway, at that point, I went, I just completely stopped. So I’ve actually been celibate since then. And it’s not that I have an aversion to sex anymore. It’s just that I don’t equate it with love anymore. And so therefore, I’m not out to search in and out. Did I mean to be celibate for 10 years? Nope. It just something that happened and I just okay. Nobody’s walked into my life that I wanted to have sex with, or felt drawn to have sex with. Right. I still feel pretty damn sexy. So I’m pretty sure that that part’s gonna come back.
Okay. You’re a super Fox.
Thank you. So anyway, that’s it. That’s my sixth story. I will let me just say, Yes, I had some great sex.
Yeah, and, you know, I mean, there’s, there’s so many different ways to connect. Right. And I’m a big fan of great sex. And, and I, one of the things I love about great sex is that it’s, there’s no space and time. Right. And so for me, the other thing that I really love and I actually have orgasmic meditations is that in meditating, there’s no space and time. So you can call it connection, a god source, whatever you want to call it. And I think that’s often why people fall in love with their, with their gurus, their spiritual teachers, and are that line gets crossed and blurred. I mean, that’s a whole other, we could do a whole episode on that, and the complexity of that. But so, you know, one of the things it’s like, yes, there’s this incredible physical experience when you’re having connected sex, and it’s an emotional experience. And it’s a spiritual experience. And I, I have had my own periods of celibacy, for the purpose of whether it was healing from grief from a breakup and feeling like I needed to my system wasn’t ready. And I just really needed to stay with the grieving process. And I needed to turn my attention inward, or whether it was I was working on something out external, like a project, like writing a book or something, and I needed to keep my attention focused. But I think one of the things that you could speak to is the value of celibacy. And whether it’s intentional or not, that there can be a way that it can function for your own evolution, and reflection, and all sorts of things. So if you want to say a little more about that,
yeah, thanks for bringing that up. Because I think that’s super important. I know, one of the reasons that this has happened this way for me is because it was time for me to do this thing that I’m doing. And I might not have done it at all, if I’d had that kind of distraction, right? If I was in a relationship, right. And so I needed that real narrow focus, I really need to be focused on on this part, because it’s what I came to bring, and time is marching on, you know, right. 52 years old is time, you know, shit or get off the pot. Gail? Gail? And, yeah, so I think that’s why I’ve ended up and, and, and to know, myself, you know, it was time for me to really know who I was. Right. And that’s hard to do with when you’re with somebody else. 24/7
I, you know, I think that there’s also a really important piece about conditioning. Right, as a woman, what you’re conditioned, and what you’re told, and not just as women as a man as well, this is what you’re supposed to do this is when you’re an adult, this is when you’re mature, you’ve matured, is you buy a house, you have you, you know, you get married, quote, unquote, you have kids and so on, and that you’re not a whole person unless you do all those things that you’re supposed to do. And I think that people’s paths are not that conventional, they don’t all look the same. And I think that, you know, some people don’t get to know themselves. If they’re in those relationships. And some people, some people need to be celibate for periods, and other people don’t necessarily. And there’s a way that often people jump from relationship to relationship, like I’m going to heal my grief by getting under somebody else. And if you really want to unravel it and get to the root of things, sometimes it takes periods of you have to have you be
really yourself being with yourself. Yeah. And I think that’s going to always be true, there’s going to come times where you’re only going to get to the root of things. Because within and you have to be quiet. So the reason for me being alone was to know myself and come out and do this work. And do I have to be alone the rest of my life? No, I don’t think so. No, I don’t have any designs on it. I’m just open
right now. Well, I think you’ve I mean, this is one of the things you’ve spoken to and you said, you’ve talked about it as your gift, but I would also reframe it as your purpose my purpose and so many people they want beyond a career, they want their purpose they want to be connected and this is absolutely your purpose. And I feel similarly that I am in my purpose and if you don’t take the time I mean your your second chakra your your sexual as well as creative center, right? Like sometimes you’re, you’re refunding that sexual energy in creative ways. And I chose salutely I’ve joked that last year I spent I was in a monogamous relationship with my book. And I’m not being so monogamous at this point, which I’m very much enjoying and there is this part of me I you know that fears like Oh, am I going to accomplish what I need to accomplish if I am quote unquote, distracted by by partnership, or really, really good sex, which I’d rather do and stead of maybe do some, you know, laborious thing I have to do related to my book or podcast. But the good news is that I really fell in love, like the same quality of being in love that I felt with a lover, or through meditation. I feel that way through writing. And absolutely, yeah, right. It’s the flow and relationship
with everything absolutely free thing. We’re in relationship with food. We’re in relationship with writing and reading and people think of only relationships with people. Yeah, we’re in relationship with all of creation, our sweet pets. Yeah, our pets. Oh, my gosh, yeah.
No, I love her so much. I love my Toshi. I also I mean, you mentioned food. And that’s one of the things that we share for me, is food like I would I would rather not eat out. If it’s not going to be an like, really good sex record. Delicious. embodied experience common. I love good food. And yeah. And I
was gonna say to you just reminded me of this is that, that? What’s weird, I’m trying to say the correlation between the spiritual experience and the sexual experience, and how the it can the sexual experience mirrors the spiritual experience. And that makes sense, because it’s about oneness. And when you come into that present moment, and you’re all consumed, and time disappears, you’re present with a presence. Absolutely. So that’s, so you’re coming in to Union literally, right. And that’s why it feels that way. And of course, when you’re coming into union with someone that’s on your wavelength on the same vibration, it’s massive. And I know that when, and we’re we’re very open, you know, when we’re having that experience. I mean, we’re what, look, we’re laid open. Yeah, we laid open. Yeah. So it’s just like, you don’t go out to a restaurant and have, you know, cheap food, or you’re not willing to sacrifice the quality. Right? We can think of the sexual relationship the same way.
Absolutely. Yeah. Or, as we had a very expensive meal, but it was not well prepared. I mean, it’s, you know, it’s not the, it’s like the package can be beautiful. But the connection can be lacking. Yeah. And the connections, everything. Yeah. In the, in the food and in the the person, right. Yeah, so one of the things that I specialize in working with and of course, because I’ve had to deal with it myself is that since I was a small child, I’ve still monetized which means emotional experiences show up in my physical body. Right. So my body has been a messenger all along since I was very little, right. But I was chronically dealing with some ailment since I was very young. And so of course, I try to attract clients that are also dealing with into what trauma does is it really it can cause chronic inflammation, autoimmune conditions, all sorts of things in people’s bodies, because there’s often what happens with trauma is we are silenced. And we are not verbally communicating. So our bodies communicating for us. You’re right, and giving us all this great information. But really, we don’t have the deciphering tools. We don’t understand what it’s saying. And we’re told by dominant culture, that there’s something wrong rather than going like, oh, there’s some wisdom that’s coming. Right. And so, you know, I wanted to just talk some about physical symptoms as a result of trauma. And you know, they can be really specific like sexual symptoms, vulvodynia, lichen Sclerosis is something that I personally deal with that’s in remission. Thank the Lord and
it’s gone. Yeah, don’t don’t Yeah, it’s yeah, it’s something
that I believe my great grandmother also had and caused all sorts of chronic burning and pain in the genitals. So there are these things that came into my life to teach me that I still had more work to do around admitting and acknowledging and allowing myself to be vulnerable and to be soft and to also see like my pussy was saying clothes for business. And I wasn’t getting and listening to that very young part of me because there was another part of me that was so wanting to just totally heal from sexual trauma and move on. And I still needed a certain piece to complete and I also see it more complex Lee as in if we’re looking at multiple dimensions that there was stuff happening in other dimensions that was affecting me and I was cleaning up the karma from from those dimensions in In this life for myself, for my ancestors and for for other selves for others to you know. And so for me in turning towards this physical piece and getting empowered enough to listen and heal through it, that’s sexual that’s a form of sexual freedom, right, even before I was because I took a break from having sex, because it was so painful and uncomfortable and vulnerable to have those conversations.
You were gonna have to get that message before. Yeah, you’re gonna go forward with sex. That’s what the symptom is about is like, no. You’re gonna work this out.
Well, and so I had a client, who had vulvodynia and vulvodynia has pain around the vulva. And it can be incredibly painful to have penetration or anything inside or the opening. And that symptom brought this couple to me. But it actually was, that was, you know, just wanting to have sex that wasn’t painful was what encouraged them to come in. But we uncovered so much more and really got to what was happening in the family. And it was really vicarious trauma that she was carrying in her body. What would What do you want people to know about this topic?
Well, the one thing that’s coming to my mind right now is, is that it doesn’t have to be big trauma that causes traumatic experiences, it can be small things. Absolutely. So we create our belief systems based on a perception as a child. And, and I’ll give you this one as an example. You know, I used to like to draw when I was a kid, and then all of a sudden, I stopped and I didn’t know why I stopped doing that. And I went to my dad. And I asked him because I was supposed to draw this horse, can you get this horse to draw Gale, and there was a reason for it, because it was going to set some creativity free for me. I was in the process of doing this book, first book. And I’m in actually the second book even. And so I needed this to be unleashed, you know. And so, and I thought it I literally it took me nine months to draw this horse is like birthing a baby. Right? Now, it didn’t literally take nine months, it only took me like, four hours when I started, you know, from start to finish. But it took me nine months to get through it. So when I went to my dad, and I asked him, because he keeps everything. Do you have any drawings about horses? Who said maybe, but it might not be as good as you think, Oh, there you go. Oh, well, you’re the one that shut down my drawing? Did he mean to shut down my drawing? No. You know, he just probably gave me some feedback. And I took it to where I’m not good. So I just never did it again. This is what happens with our little child’s mind. And I my daughter’s has a great story, too. I thought what it was affecting her was me, and blamed myself. You know, as a single mom, you know, I did this wrong, did that wrong? Had nothing to do with me, I had to do with her dog. Okay, so it doesn’t have to be big. That’s what I want people to know. It can be small, right? And you just formed a belief system. And now you’re an adult is time to change your mind, right. And that’s all that’s happening. But you can’t change your mind and you can’t see it. So your physical body is bringing up what will not come up in your mind, your physical body’s bringing it because you’ve shut it down on a belief system in judgment, in a sense, you’ve exiled a piece of yourself, right? And your mind is not going to let that back in your body,
your divorce from it, you’re like, that’s not me. And you also don’t even you don’t like what’s what blows my mind about perception as it is that you could, let’s say you’re in one state for months, it feels it feels stable, it feels permanent, which is a joke, and then something happens and it feels like truth. It’s like, oh, this is who I am. And then And then something happens. And an old perception, like an old part of yourself or way of seeing comes up. And even if there’s an observer that can go like, Oh, I know, this is just a perception. It also feels so damn true. Right? It just feels like truth. And so if you haven’t done that work to develop those observers that are going to question that perception that perception is truth. That’s it.
So you have to start questioning what the what these what’s coming up. And the thing is, is a lot of people think they know, well, if they knew what was coming up, then they wouldn’t have a symptom. Because it would just be right there. So obviously, they don’t know. Or you wouldn’t need that symptom. Right? And so we can just start looking at everything that way. And then it becomes easy, much easier to bring this stuff up.
When I think what what is important that you’ve said to me in the past, so one of the things that I’ve dealt with is a crime I cleaned my neck and sacrum and different vertebras going out. And I’ve worked with Gail around this. And she has taught me she used to adjust my spine. So I know that sounds super kooky to a lot of people, people are used to going to a chiropractor who adjust them. Well, Gail not only adjusts remotely, but she’s able to see and sense the direction that a vertebra is out left to right, right to left front to back back to front. And there’s different information. So if it’s like back to front, it’s it’s it’s unconscious. It’s an unconscious belief that’s causing that vertebra to go out. So anyways, I’ve learned how to do this for myself as a result of working with her, which is severely profound and money saving. But one of the things is I think I had a vertebra that kept going out and you’re like, well, and I thought, like, oh, it’s about it’s about this. I don’t remember what it was. But well, I think it’s related to this. And, and often I’m pretty right on. But there was also you’re like, Well, what if you just let yourself not know? What if you just don’t know? Because we’re so quick. And we feel so much more secure when we do know. Right? Right? We’re attached to knowing with knowing Yeah, we the unknown is really scary for people. But in even, you know, there are people like me, I would put myself in this category of thinking, like, I know myself really well. And it’s a beautiful thing to just say out loud, not just hear Gail say to me, Well, why don’t you let yourself not know. And I go, okay, but say out loud to myself. Like, I don’t know. And I’m open to the possibility of not knowing, and I’m open to receiving whatever information wants to come through, like, Please let this message come through, but actually saying it,
right. Yeah, we one of the things I get so clearly lately, is not only the wholeness thing, and the oneness thing we’re bringing cause and effect into wholeness. So we’re no longer going to be able to separate that we can’t separate our creations from the Creator, as being the creator of us being the cause. And our experience being the effect. It’s, we’re gonna see it all together, you know, and so we won’t be going lifetimes, working this stuff out anymore. So we’re laying it open in broad daylight, so that we can see immediately what the effect of it of this particular action or this particular thought, right. We’re just getting to that point. And so from there, we’re going to move into being able to be present, and be just experiencing instead of thinking, right, so we’re moving from this beings, all thinkers, into these receivers. Yeah. And there’s big freedom in that. You know, so we just have to bring up we have to get present. We can’t get present until we resolve the past, because it keeps keeps coming up. Great.
Yeah, they’re like, the past is like, I got the image of weeds, right? They just keep grinding just keep you pull them up. They keep growing unless you get the roots gotta
get the router. Yeah, exactly. That’s a great analogy. Yeah. And then we have nothing else tethering us down. And now we can just go. And we’ll be okay with the future to within that the not knowing. The only reason we’re afraid of not knowing is, is because we’re afraid we’re going to keep repeating.
You know, one of the things I just kind of want to go back for a moment, you were saying I don’t remember very much of my childhood. And I have a very different experience. Like, I wonder sometimes, if there were things I didn’t know, but I think it’s some of the stuff that affected me was like pre verbal in utero. One thing that’s important is because I have a lot of clients that come to me healing from sexual trauma, and they don’t remember, they have a sense of something or they have symptoms that look like that look like quote unquote, sexual trauma, and they assume oh, maybe it was it was a child sexual abuse and sexual trauma is vast, there are so many things that can be traumatic, that affects your sexuality. And I want to make that distinction and not just define it as as being sexually abused as a child or sexually assaulted as a older person. So when people come to me, and they’re, they’re like, attached to this idea of Oh, I was sexually abused in some way. And I don’t remember. And I just want to say for them, as well as any therapists out there that to just expand your perception of full first you don’t have to remember something that happened in order to heal it through your body. I do feel I do have a bias about healing things through the body and that the body knows how to move the energy that’s stored stuck in complete experience or emotion. Go ahead,
take some of that that energy has to move. Everything has energy, it has to move, it’s never standing still. If it doesn’t move through us is turning in us, right? And it’s the turning that causes pain. So we have to let these experiences move through us when they don’t, you know, so when they don’t move through us then our experiences stick A sore spot, you know, so that that that experience hasn’t moved stuck in there. And then when you have a similar experience out here is sticks on that. So you want to get rid of all your sticky places,
right? And people will literally use that language I mean, are brilliant beings, we say like, I feel stuck. Yeah, there’s something to that or something stuck. There’s something about people facing the unknown. And so sometimes they’re so scared, they’re scared to do bodywork, they’re scared to do therapy, anything that that’s exploring, because they’re afraid of what they’re going to discover. They’re afraid of what they’re going to feel, right. And yes, there is something about feeling through. But there have been scientific studies done that, let’s say you’re, you’re terrified of feeling the grief that will, it’ll be too big for anyone else to hold, it’ll be too big for you to tolerate or the anger or the, you know, any emotion, even the pleasure. If I go into it, it’ll be all consuming. The reality is it takes about 20 minutes to feel it, and you move through and there’s peace on the other side. And it doesn’t mean it won’t happen again. But that’s the wave, you have to let it move. And it’s scary to do it the first time. And then once you learn how to do that, you realize you’re not obliterated by it. And then as that relates to memory, right, sometimes, you know, things that happen come back to us. And I see that usually information and memories come back when we’re resilient enough to incorporate them. And your your way of thinking about it, which I think is also really useful is that if it’s going to be if it’s necessary for part of our purpose and our work in the world, we will remember those fragments, those pieces will come through. And so part of me is like, Oh, that’s interesting. I remember things from when I was two years old. I can I remember things I can, I’ve recalled the experience from the amount of bodywork I’ve done of in utero, I’ve really crazy ability to remember details and things. I remember all the names of my teachers when I was four. As
you’ve got you have to because this is your purpose, your writing your purpose, you have to you know, you’re going to use it, who wants to go to a therapist doesn’t have a clue what they’ve been through. Well, there’s,
but there are a lot of therapists actually that don’t. And I think specifically around sexuality, like I have so many visceral memories related to my sexuality positive and negative.
That makes you powerful. Yeah. Therapist in what you’re doing. Yeah. So people that open themselves up, they’ll specialize in their experiences or bringing them into that specialty. Right? Right. Right. So that’s why I’m saying the best sex therapist is going to be the one that’s had experience. Right? If you are suffering from domestic abuse, you’re gonna want to probably see somebody that has some experience in that.
Right, right. Well, they’re, I mean, this piece of coming back to, you know, of course, I don’t want, I don’t want any child to be physically, emotionally or sexually hurt, right. And I also feel grateful for my life experiences, because they’ve given me the tools and the empathy, to really get and know people’s experience. And sometimes it’s the first time that people have felt seen and gotten, and I get to act as a translator for their partners and for their family members. Right. And,
and this is not saying that any kind of abuse is okay. I’m not saying right. What I’m saying is, is that we have journeys, and all of these things can be a gift, if seen and used. Right? And you know, everybody I say this this way, your hardest knock is your biggest nugget. If you’ll unwrapped it if you if you’ll just unwrap it. Right. And don’t keep pushing it down. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because there’s good in everything. I mean, let me preface that. If you believe that Source Creator is good, then there must be good in everything, because source creators and everything, right? If you believe that Source Creator, that there could be punishment or a vengeful god or whatever, you’re gonna see life that way. So, really, and I don’t even know where I’m going here, I guess because fear is saying to go here, but you do what you believe about your creator, whether you call it God’s Source Creator, divine creator, I don’t care what you call it, whatever you believe about that is going to dictate how you live your life. So there it has a huge part of this whole lot of trauma is based in what you believe about creator and creation.
Can you say a little more about that? Yeah. Because I in my mind, I hold all the complexity of like, the 10 people listening, or maybe 1000s
There’s just a whole bunch of people out there that grew up in Then environment where God is this being sitting on a throne, that’s one day, I’m going to die. And I’m going to have to answer for all my sins, and I’m being punished in this life, you know, for past sins and blah, blah, blah, right. And one of the things that came to me was, if we believe that our good or Heaven only awaits us on the other side of death, then what’s life for? Are we not just chasing death at that point? So in other words, our suffering is all about a destination. Does it make sense? Does it make sense to you? Yeah,
I know, because I get the bigger context. But if you can be more concrete for the listeners, that’s great. Right? Okay. So if you give it a concrete story, and then I’m also thinking about people who are atheists, or, you know, they’re like this, there’s not God.
Right. And this afterlife may have come from a childhood belief
or reaction to reaction in childhood. So it’s
really important to resist the start to really dig into what do you really believe? What do you believe because your belief system dictates your whole experience. So, so if you grew up, you know, believing in a vengeful God, then you can see how you might you probably created some suffering your life around that. You said, Oh, I deserve to be punished. Let creates
a lot of respect. If we’re bringing this back to sexuality, it creates a lot of restriction in your sexual expression and relationships. And then there is there’s what I, the way I think about it is we have receptors, right? That we have these receptors, and if we have a certain belief about ourselves, like I am bad, or, you know, I should be ashamed of myself for this reason, this little receptors are like, like the a claw from you know, that game that’s like the the crane and it goes down into the stuffies. And it’s trying to pick up a stuffy, it’s like searching for the right, stuffy? Well, if my hands were out in front of me, like little claws, and they’re searching my environment, as you were saying, for proof of one to be like, Oh, this is what I believe. And they’re also protecting right there. Our beliefs are there to protect us and keep us safe, or so we think, right? Because we go against what our core belief is something bad could happen. Right? So anyway, so it is like searching for our environment to be like, Oh, see. So let’s say there’s, there’s my belief is men are not trustworthy, more, I will be hurt or the world is a dangerous place. And my little, my little receptor skips over that the 10 men in front of me that are super loving and supportive. And you got an scoops right into the person who’s going to fulfill and it’s like a self fulfilling prophecy. It’s like, Oh, see, I was right. This is my belief. And that’s my proof. Right. Right.
Right in you have to dig really deep to uncover these beliefs. Yeah, you know, and then ask yourself, is that true? Was it every true? Is it true now? You know, so I had to uncover a lot of I had to question a lot of things that I believed and reconcile, you know, or just totally changed my belief system. And if any of you look at some of my old blogs, you can see how I’ve changed my belief systems along the line. And I’ve resisted erasing those because I want people to see a city that we can change our belief systems, right. If we don’t change, nothing changes. You’re very unique. You know, every one of us is super unique. And what we need changes all the time depend on what’s going on. Mentally, right, physically,
the thought that came up for me is not theirs, not only our toxic thoughts, but also the toxicity of the people around us. Right. So a lot of people I know are quite sensitive individuals are permeable individuals, right. So what I think would be useful is to cover some things that are, you know, I do certain kinds of energetic boundary setting practices with my clients and meditative practices of my clients. But I would love for you to share some of yours. Right? If you’re open to that,
right in, you know, in your practice, probably the majority of your your people are sensitives, right? Okay. They’re impasse and call on that. And that means they’re just little energy sponges. And so, we have individual journeys. And we’re also connected. But what’s important is to allow people to live their journey without becoming intertwined. And to stay separate, because if we don’t, then we absorb other people’s baggage. And we don’t, we can’t tell whether it’s ours or whether it’s theirs. Right. And so, now we’re feeling a certain way we know we have no idea why we’re feeling a certain way, and people can go through Are their whole life like that, and not realize, Oh my gosh, that wasn’t even mine. But there’s things that you can do, you can, you can keep your energy feel protected. And so I’m not going to go into a ton of detail right now. But you can just just intend that you’re protected, as see a bubble come around you a protective shield. And do that whenever you open your energy field, it doesn’t matter if you’re opening your energy field in a conversation over the phone. Or if it’s in person, it makes no difference because we’re just energy and we’re one. So anytime you’re getting on the phone, let’s say with a, let’s say, you’re getting on the phone with a family member that just has a knack for getting under your skin, your vibrations, or you’re just not matching in with. And that’s a good way not to go into judgment too. It just, we’re just not on on the same vibrational plane. Right? That’s all that’s happening. If you’d listen to Abraham Hicks machine describes it pretty well. So there’s, there’s a clash. And it’s just like oil and water don’t mix, you’re not mixing, right. So you can protect yourself from that energy, you know, you’re gonna go into that, you know, you’re going to have that conversation, you’re going to dip your toe in it, you’re not going to take a bath in it, you’re not going to spend a whole lot of time with people that are not a vibrational match, because it will pull you down eventually. So you, you do what you need to do. And you stay protected as you need as you need. And you stay out of judgment.
Right? I think the staying out of judgment part is really important. Because the
minute you’re in judgment, you’re going to say, I don’t care how good your protection is, you’re soaking it in.
Yeah, I’d like to share a story about something that happened with a client. But I also want to just say that if you should ever want to do sessions with Gail, she has a number of sophisticated ways of setting energetic boundaries and clearing and teaching you how to do that for yourself. And if she’s not sharing them right now, she can share them individually. If you do a session with her. Anything else you want to say about that before?
Yeah, what I was gonna say is, is when you go to bed at night, make sure that your protective shield is up and close your energy field because you’re not in control. When you’re asleep. You don’t you asked to travel at night, you don’t know where you’re going. So just, I just do this motion where I come up over my head and I come down with the intention that my energy field is closed. And then when you get up in the morning, you want to see your bubble there. You can look through your mind’s eye, a smart protective shield out there. Oh, yeah, see it. And when you’re going out into the world, put a note on your door. Oh, is my shield in place before I walk out the store. So those are just little tools you can use. And I remind people just make it a habit. So just like brushing your teeth, you don’t think about brushing your teeth, you go brush your teeth, right, right. You might even wrap your toothbrush in a sticky note, you know, and then put a note on your front door and change the colors because you’ll stop seeing that sticky note after a while. If you’ll do that for three weeks, you’ll find yourself with a habit. And you’ll find yourself clear you won’t be absorbing all this stuff.
Yeah, yeah, I like to combine things. So some do some do certain practices in the shower or brushing teeth or like anything that you would ever actually do for yourself going to the bathroom. Right. Right. Every time you walk through a doorway. Yeah. So I you were speaking about and this has been one of those things that I’ve I’ve been very porous. And I believe that I had that porousness existed in utero where I started to believe to be lovable. I, my purpose was to make my mom’s pain go away, and I had to absorb her stuff for her. Right. So then I just walked through the world doing that. And so what I’ve been able to hone it into a skill rather than habit, it sometimes still survival strategy, but most often I feel like I have a good handle on it. So I was sitting in a session this week, and I was sitting with somebody who was telling a story. And he wasn’t he wasn’t sharing any of the emotion. He wasn’t he was talking about the details of what had happened, but he wasn’t sharing his feelings. And so in this moment, I started to fit my heart started to beat I started to feel all this anxiety and a lot of grief. Like I was holding the tears there. I could feel them brimming. And I thought, Oh, he’s feeling this is his This is not mine. I’m feeling him. And so I I asked him, I was like, well, and I had to dig it wasn’t it wasn’t like it immediately came and it wasn’t until I went over and I sat next to him and gave him some physical contact to put my hand on his chest and I asked him what he was feeling under my hand and, and we got that. Yes, he was indeed feeling anxiety, and all of this grief and we work through it. somatically and we did it was a really it was really beautiful. But I think that that’s something important as a whether it’s as a practice Chinar or a friend? Sometimes one way to to know what’s yours versus not yours is if you ask the other person, what they’re feeling. What’s tricky is sometimes people are so dissociated, they don’t know what they’re feeling, right. So it can be hard. But I find that naming it can help dissolve it in my own body. If it’s not mine. It’ll persist if it’s mine
as an I’m an empath. So I like I had a session this morning, what will happen with me is, I’ll literally take the physical symptom. Yes. So you know, I got to where I couldn’t talk, I knew there was something going on with her throat and thyroid, right. And but most people pick it up in an energetic way. I’m getting a physicals. So I know what’s happening. You know, it’s a clue. So if you’re feeling a certain way, and you couldn’t, can’t put your finger on it, then probably you absorbed it from someplace else. Right? Right. Right. This will be the case, like, let’s say you go to the doctor, or doctors are real good at labeling things when they don’t understand something. So let’s just put a label on that. And then tell you there’s no solution. Exactly. Because they don’t understand it. So they don’t know the solution. But yeah, we can just say, Okay, if we can’t name it, I mean, we can’t find a physical cause than its energetic now, it was energetic to begin with. But now it’s manifesting physically, right? If you don’t get it before it lands on the physical body, exactly. But when it comes to energy with other people and Zorbing energy, you can know, just by not being at, you know, if you can’t figure it out, that’s a good sign. A lot of times, you know, what was I thinking, especially as you become more and more uncovered, in, you know, in your don’t have any baggage, there’s nothing running in the background, right? This or that come from, you know, it’s not yours, right. And as my mentor says, sometimes it is a result of your own stinking thinking, then you bring stuff to yourself,
right? Or if there’s matching stuff, right. So sometimes I’m thinking of a time when I had a client who came in suicidal, and often I’m able to remain protected, protected, but there are going to be some times and I think this was the beginning of me needing to even kind of up my protection and be even more discerning than I had been previous in the past. Right. And I think, you know, part of that is that the bigger if I zoom out, it’s like, oh, if I become more visible through writing a book or doing a podcast, I need more protection. And so these, these life experiences, as hard as they might feel, are actually preparing us for something that we may not even know is down the road. That’s right, in my experience. Absolutely. Yeah. And so it was a challenging session. She was, you know, like really angry. And, and I it what it hit for me was, I think, some deep stuff like that stuff around my mom in utero, and being powerless to be able to change something and make it better for someone. And so I took on her, I took on her grief and fatigue, she was dealing with incredible fatigue, that was making her feel like she didn’t want to live. And I was delirious from this fatigue. And I went to Vegas that weekend, and I couldn’t stop crying. I basically I just felt heavy, disoriented. And I just knew I’m like, This doesn’t make any sense, right? I’d had sufficient sleep, and I just cried the whole flight. And I actually ended up talking to your mentor. And once I actually no, I didn’t I just I think I just like, let her know what was happening for me. And she did something and I felt the energetic shift instantly. Right. Right. I was like, I think this is what happened. And she was like, Absolutely, you absorbed? What was going on? Right? And that that was a big reminder. I mean, because it was so physically dramatic.
Yeah, and see, I get it. And this has happened to me. I’m gonna say I’m getting between six and seven times. Yeah, that I’ll get a big knock. And it’s, you know, a big, absorb something. Yeah. And there’s different levels of energy. Some of its really heavier than others, and easier to clear. But every time that that thing has happened is because I needed another layer of protection, right? It’s like a, it’s like a antivirus program on your computer. You constantly have to keep up in the game, right? So when that happens, that’s my sign that I need another layer. And then, you know, have to sit either and sometimes I’ll call mom and turn into suit, or I’ll just look for my mind’s eye and just see, what do I need? You know, and I can see it. Right? Yeah, it serves purpose. Right. I
think it’s important that just like anything there sometimes there are times where I really love empowering people and giving them practices to to manage themselves and I love that about you. I really feel like you’re about empowering people. And then there are times when I call you right there times when I need that extra support. And so I think the same thing is true. It’s like I really encourage people to meditate to build their own stillness and silence and listening, like I talk about God as your own internal quiet, intuitive voice, right?
That’s a, that’s an Inside Energy is an inside job. Everything’s within. And we have all the answers within, there’s no higher power out there that we’re relying on. It’s not out there. It’s in here, right. And we, as we open ourselves up to that, like I said, we’re connected, we’re connected to the source of all.
Absolutely. And what I’ll say is that, depending on what your history of trauma is, and history of having to be self reliant, and not having support and all of that, it’s super important to have both, right, it’s like you want to develop, you don’t want to be a bodybuilder with one really big muscular arm and one little shriveled arm, right, it’s like you, you develop the ability to listen internally and receive support from the outside. And because we are relational beings, and I didn’t alone, right, and big, it’s a big healing. And for me, I mean that my relationship to you is, is so sweet and profound. And I feel like you’re, I call you muscle there and Guru, even though I don’t, I’m not I’m kind of opposed to gurus, but you’re my, you know, your spiritual mother.
That’s how I feel about my mentor, too. So we all have those as we go through. And we
hope we this is the this is what I want to say, though, is that we, we can have those but if if the belief system and the training from childhood is so strong, that you have to be so self reliant, you’re not open to having those. And not me too. And so like even this client that I was sitting in physically holding a few days ago, and I asked him, I was like, Can you feel me here with you? And there’s a way that he could let in 5% of the support and keep out the rest? And, and so what I’m telling him in that moment is, that’s great. How do you let in 5%, that’s huge. How do you keep out the 95, because we’re going to keep doing that with everyone on our life unless we bring our mindfulness to it. And so I feel like the fact that I have you in my life is a sign that my system is really open to receiving support. And I feel like I have a team of support. Right now,
that’s been our hardest job, especially as women is receiving. Because we’ve been taught that to give, give, give, give, give, give, give till it hurts, and we come last,
right. And then men also aren’t taught to need anybody, and they’re not taught to express what they’re feeling. And so yeah, I have a lot of compassion for their inability to receive support they’ve been
taught, be boys don’t cry. But it’s true, we each have been shut down in our own way. And in a lot of ways, the receiving part of it is so much harder than the giving part.
Yeah, there’s that, you know, the courage and vulnerability, cliche, and it’s so true. And I really think I call it my emotionally psychic vagina, like my vagina keeps me aligned with myself. So during that period of time, and whereas experiencing a lot of chronic pain was remarkable, but I really feel like she has taught me how to be more, how to be more vulnerable, and her and her and my dog, my dog really teaches me, she’s such a good model for asking for what she needs in the moment, or forcing my hand on her body. And so a lot of the times for me physical contact is actually really grounding and resourcing. And my tendency, if I was, if I’m upset is what my history would be like to withdraw. And, actually, I used to not be able to verbally even speak, I would lose the ability, I’d become so immobilized, I couldn’t speak. And so now, reaching out, that’s a big practice for me or like, right, you know, just just even calling and letting people know that I was having a hard morning, yesterday, and I called a handful of friends and you know, someone was available, and it’s like, Oh, if the first person doesn’t answer, how do you pick up the phone and call the next person because you could get stuck in a story of No one’s here to support me? I am alone.
Yeah, being alone for so long. I can totally relate to that. I used to just go I’d be the ostrich or just go totally underground. You know, when something was going on in my life, I don’t do that anymore.
Right. It’s like come out when everything’s all perfect and smooth and pretty. Right and then like
retreat and never let anybody see me vulnerable.
It’s hard. I mean, because when you’re grieving Part One of the things that comes with depression is is a turning inward. And which makes it really hard to see what support is available outside and you can people can be right there. I’ve I’ve experienced this with clients where my hands on their body, and I’m like, Can you feel my hands? Like no. So there’s a quality of numbness and it’s like a baby bird with its little beak sealed shot and its throat all closed up and it like can’t take in the nourishment. It’s like, it’s right here. Here’s the worm. Right? I think I was just saying this to somebody. Yes. And yeah, yeah.
It’s the scariest thing to open yourself. And receive? And it’s also the most beautiful thing.
Yeah, physically, I’m gonna bring it back to sex. And we’re bringing it back. I’m thinking of God and sex, right? It’s both Yeah. It’s like, how do I receive guidance from source? And listen to my own intuition? And how do I also, you know, if I don’t know where relationships gonna go? Like, if I don’t know what this person is feeling? Oh, my gosh, how do I how do I in my body wants to open to them? How do I make that choice? Right? Yeah,
how do I just know what’s next? How do I just be okay with letting it
unfold? Right. And not know, and not know,
not forcing anything. Just going with the flow.
There’s, I think another thing I would love for you to speak to, that comes up a lot with clients, is the difference between what’s the and I have my own response that I can share later, but the difference between intuitive information that’s coming through, and what’s fear, like I can, I’ll give you an example like, you know, 15 years ago, 20 years ago, I moved in with a girlfriend. And I was really excited. But I was also scared. And I just remember my chest and stomach and everything seizing up. And I was like, Is this just because I’m scared? And I’m doing something new? Or is this my intuition saying, You’re fucking insane? You’ve been dating for two months? Don’t rent a U haul?
Right? Well, there’s several ways that that actually this. I’m doing workshops here. So this is one of the things I share in the workshop several ways to discern without actually getting the answer in your head. And one of the ways I use color, you know, so you might try this, it may work for you, it might not. But you can say show me the color of this choice. So you get your choices in front of you. Maybe you’ve got one, Choice two, choice three, doesn’t matter. Just show me the color of this choice. As you hold each one of them in your mind. Is it a bright color? Is it yellow? Is it like blue? Is it white? Or is it black? These are the colors of vibrations, call them you know, these are arrays, right? So if I see black, and if I see red, that’s like, you know, and now I’ll even ask, what does it mean? What does the red mean? And I’ll get? I’ll get a word for it. But if I see red, I’m going, that didn’t look good. If I see black that’s like hell no, you know. And then the other way is that you can just see yourself in the situation, let’s say you’re thinking of taking in a roommate, right? Imagine what your imagination is one of your biggest tools. Imagine living with this person, see yourself in the kitchen together, see yourself in the living room, see yourself sharing things, right? If you can’t see it, or doesn’t look, you’re having struggling to see it from an ri. And then the other way you and you just said it. If that choice causes this major constriction in your body, that’s a no. So yes, feels expansive, you can breathe through that choice. There’s, anytime you’re doing something new, there’s going to be a little bit of fear, you’re out, you’re outside your comfort zone, right? So there’s gonna be that little bit of fear of the unknown, but this intense fear that, you know, that, like doesn’t have any good cause, right? That’s a no.
So while that totally makes sense, I want to just share a little bit of a different perspective. So around that same time, around 20 years ago, I started performing monologue, like autobiographical monologue. And I would feel terrified, right? So I would get super dysregulated. And I remember crying and like being under my blankets and saying to my girlfriend, like, don’t make me do it. Don’t make me do it. The thing is, is that because my window of capacity to be with a range of emotion and sensation was so limited, it took very little for my body to seize up and go into that state of like, no, like, I kind of had, I wasn’t safe in the world. So no, was. I go ahead. Okay. Yeah,
cuz that’s a good point. Yeah. One of the reasons you’re feeling extreme clears because you come in ungrounded. So you get into this unknown, and then you come ungrounded and that makes you feel very anxious and very fearful. But you’re moving to a place now where you can be grounded in and ask a question.
Right? So I just wanted to make sure because if there are people listening who have a history of trauma, their predominant state might be not in their body ungrounded. And so,
so take a deep breath, grounding breath first before you ask anything, right. So you take a deep breath, and you bring your attention to your feet, and get very grounded. And that breath clears everything out. You’ll notice when you take that big breath off, fear goes away. Now you’re in a place to ask the question, and then you can get a real answer is like, oh, everything’s tight. And that’s not the right one. Yeah, you’re becoming an observer, you’re not attached to fear. So if you’re ungrounded, you’re going to attach to the fear. And that’s where you just feel out of control,
right? I mean, one of the things I use with my clients as these martial arts based practices that help people learn, what does yes feel like in their body? What does no feel like in their body? What does maybe feel like in their body? And so they get to know, the physical response? Certain ones are going to be more familiar, right there. It’s like, this is what I’ve practiced, I’ve always said yes, doesn’t mean assuming it feels good in your body, because it might be like it. Like their, you know, their shoulders are rising up their eyebrows raising, they’re not breathing, or that No, is terrifying to say. Right? So it’s, it can feel a little complicated. It’s like knowing what, what is your physical response to these words? But also, what’s your comfort level? And what’s your familiarity with? No, or yes,
we have to step away, we have to be an observer. In other words, if we’re attached to anything, then we’re not observing anymore. Sorry, attached to the outcome. Exactly. So when you want to know something, you have to be in observation mode, right? And everybody has the capacity to do that. And that’s what I’m telling you, if you just take a deep breath, and get grounded, you can find yourself in that observation mode.
Yes. And some people I’ve literally worked with people who taking a deeper breath was was beyond their capacity, their capacity, and that being grounded. Grounded is a foreign concept. And so I’ve worked with people in these microwaves have not microwaves, mind you, micro ways of learning what is grounded feel like in your body. So for some people, grounded feels like they’re heavier, and they’re lower body, they’re, their shoulders are relaxed, they might be breathing more and more, more easily, they might actually feel their legs or feet, right? Well, if they’re not, they don’t they don’t feel their bodies and
right, well, lots of songs. Let’s talk about that for a second. So some people are chronically ungrounded. And there’s 1000 people met me chronically ungrounded, is because they were never grounded to begin with from the get go. Right? Okay. And it’s so it’s a process, you know, you know, how to get people grounded to some degree, right. But if they have a chronic, something chronic going on there, they probably need some other help. Breathing is huge. And so I’m just gonna, I just want everybody to know, right now that you have the capacity to clear everything on a breath. And a lot of people have just completely forgotten how to breathe, you know, because they’re just in this stressful lifestyle that has to be filled with every minute, it’s got to be filled, you know, and there’s so much stress, I got to do this, I got to do that. And when they do take a deep breath, all that’s happening is they’re breathing from, you know, their shoulders up.
Right, right. There’s a, there’s a thoracic constriction there, there’s no access to their deep belly. Yeah, they’re
literally not getting any oxygen through their brain, you know, to their brain, you know, to the rest of their body. So what I tell my clients is, go look at a baby breathe, right? That’s exactly right. The baby knows how to breathe, and you’ve forgotten. So just when you take a big breath in this, especially true women, because it’s been drilled into us, don’t let your belly pooch out. No, that’s unattractive. That’s what I grew up with my mother grew up with. So when you take a deep breath, your belly should expand like a balloon, that breath should fill your belly. And then when you release it, it shouldn’t collapse. So you release it all. And so the exercise that I use is a four count breath in, expand for count, release the world hold it to the top, a hold it for a forecast, you know, do it with me, Charlotte, feels so good. And everything releases from there. If you’ve never done yoga, yoga will teach you Ribery. There’s also
something like breathing when you really breathe fully into your belly and you expand your belly to the point where it presses against your ribs and you hold it that way. It’s activating your vagus nerve, and so that’s really calming, right so that there’s breathing into your belly activates your parasympathetic nervous system and which Calming and breathing into your chest is more stimulating and activates your sympathetic nervous system, right. And so I use both different kinds of breath. When I’m doing bodywork with people, sometimes I want their system to learn how to be with more stimulation, and then help them round it. And other times it’s really that I just want them to it’s like to calm their their sleep.
You know, the deep breathing is clearing. Anytime you take a deep breath, and you release it, you cleared some you cleared, you know, there’s a reason why they say, count to 10 Take a deep breath and counted right? It came from somewhere, it came from somewhere, it’s because it’s clearing. And I was gonna say something else. If you don’t know whether you’re breathing, right? Get a belt, you know, loosely around the largest part of your belly. And here’s the thing, you want to feel this breath all the way around, right in the back too, right? So you know you’re doing it right when you take a deep breath and you can feel the belt expand tight feel. Yeah, tightens against your buttons all the way around, then you know, you’ve got it. And then just keep practicing that until it becomes a habit with me as a habit. You know, I stop and take a deep breath all the time. Of course in my sessions, I’m yawning
all the time. Right, which we share this I was when I was doing my work in Nepal, I was working at an orphanage at teaching about trauma and resilience. And we would laugh because I was constantly yawning in this group of 40 students my eyes streaming and you know, it’s like yeah, that all this clearing I have it’s one client it’s I do that with like almost the whole session for everybody I’m yawning and my eyes are tearing I’m constantly wiping my eyes.
Yeah, that happened in the workshop the other day somebody something spontaneous clean cleared for two people and I’m back in the back of the room yawning I don’t know what’s clearing, but I found out you know, shortly after there after that, what it was
so so yawning, you know, we’ve maybe you’ve heard a couple things, one properly in biology class in high school, that it’s your brain needs oxygen to that it’s your body’s way of regulating and that it’s, it’s a, I actually use it even to calm my dog, you can look at your dog and yawn. I learned this from my, from my dog walker, to calm her. And then the other piece that we’re sharing now is that it’s you’re energetically clearing something for yourself for other people.
Yeah. So anyway, it’s our breath of life is just the most magical tool there is. And we don’t use it. Yeah, you know, a lot of a lot of people just don’t use it. So if you can learn how to breathe, and you can learn how to ground, then you’re sitting pretty to receive your inner guidance.
Yeah, breath is the most direct way to change your mood and your state. And so often, you know, like you have panic attacks, changing your breath, and you know, you need it takes about 2020 minutes to reset your nervous system. Although it can happen faster, people will abort, they’ll they’ll stop doing a breathing practice, after a minute or something and they like it’s all working. And so you just like stay with it and bring your attention. And I’ve described different breath practices previously, so I won’t get into them. Now, if you have something that you’re focusing your mind on, whether it’s the breath, your belly, rising up and down, the breath moving in and out your lips, or your nose, or focusing on grains of sand moving through a straw that you’re blowing through your lips, something it occupies your mind and it brings you back into present time versus often when we’re panicking. It’s about the past or the future,
right? Because the only reason we’re panicking because we’re not embed the only place that really exist is in the now mean it’s basically when you’re in the past or the future. You’re you’re you’re someplace that doesn’t even exist, right. You’re it’s an imagination. Yeah. And so that makes you It kind of reminds me of a little kid lost in a big amusement park. Oh, yeah. You know, you’re actually you know, this just you’re in a place that doesn’t even exist that’s just frightening. You know, it’s a big magical playground. Oh, and you’re all alone. You know? I was gonna say
are terrifying Kearney land instead of natural playground.
Yeah. Anyway, breath is magical. Yes, with honor breath we can present we just become present in the presence of, of our higher self. of all there is of now. Yeah, yeah. And we receive everything there. Beautiful. Everything.
I have one more question before we wrap up. Okay. There was a funny story that you wanted to share. Go for it. Okay, the floor is yours. Okay. Okay. When I first got married,
I had this weird judgment of But I don’t know where it came in. Maybe it’s another lifetime. I don’t know, I have no idea where this came from. But I never wanted anybody to see it. Just never want anybody to see it, you know, straight on, you know, I was always hiding it somehow. And so one day we were in the shower, taking a shower together, I was always trying to hide my butt. And I slipped. And I fell face first out of the shower. And so my butt straight up. And of course, it hurt. But the thing is, it just cracked me up because I’m like, Whoop, there it is. And so that’s overwhelming. That gig is up. And I just started laughing hysterically. It was such a release, you know, oh, I don’t have to hide that anymore. There. You know, there it is. But every time I think about it cracks me up.
So this is is this, right? You’re talking the way this came up? Was that you were talking about how you intercom into present moment to check in? You think of something that makes you laugh. Right? So this is the thing that you repeat on a regular basis. Something
that I repeat, when you want to test some Oh Ha You want to hear inner guidance. You have to be in alignment with truth to hear truth. That’s the law of attraction. Laughter brings you into truth like nothing else is laughter is the best medicine. So I have people think I go to a default place. That’s my default. And I have another one too. But that’s the second one. Oh,
bring on the second one. Yeah, so I have
I do have another one. This
is the place. Yeah. Oh, that was the next one. Yeah, that was the second. So yeah, it was
it was just hilarious. I just see myself still on the bathroom floor. My face on the tiles laughing hysterically.
I’m glad you still have your teeth.
I still have my tea. I do have a cracked tooth. It may have happened that I don’t know. You’re too
busy laughing to to worry about it. Yeah, no,
it’s pretty funny. My Goody wait broke me. I never worried about it again. I’m really glad me to
freedom, freedom. Whoop, whoop, there it is. Yeah,
she says There it is.
I love you so much. And I’m so glad you’re here with me. And thank you for being in my life and for taking such good care of the people I care about that I send to you. I’m glad I’m here. Thank you. I know that that may have been a little out there for some of you but I trust that those of you who need her as a resource will seek her out. And just know if she can’t help you. She will tell you and won’t take your money she lives in high integrity. You can book free 15 minute exploratory sessions or full length sessions with Gail at Food revelation that is our e v e l a t i o n.com. This has been laid open podcast with your host Charna caselle. Please join us again next week. If this show feels beneficial, we’d love if you would please rate and review it and share it with your friends so others can find us. If you have additional questions around sex and trauma, you can submit them at Charna caselle.com Follow me at laid open podcast on Instagram and Facebook and read more about my work at passionate life.org Until next time, remember who you are